How To Move Forward When You Are Feeling Stuck
How To Move Forward When You Are Feeling Stuck
Take back control of your life by learning the “Deliberate Question”
I am flipping through the pages in my journal. My eyes fall on one old entry, it reads:
Get up start moving! You are a like a car, if you stop for too long, then you will get a dead battery and how easy is it to get going again on a dead battery?
Get moving and you will find your way! Do not lose momentum, otherwise you will get even more stuck…”
As I am reading, it got me wondering:
Is our inner GPS or I think there is a more suitable term: is our LNS signal lost?
Forget the GPS (Global Positioning System)
We will call it an LNS (Life Navigation System)
If the signal is lost for a while, then it is okay to keep going, maybe we will find our way, by just driving around, but it can be arduous, we take the risk of burnout..
If we are getting nowhere, then there is time to press the reset button on that LNS.
You can get your internal LNS from stuck to directional, by doing this:
Stop Asking “Get Stuck Questions”
Start Asking “Deliberate Questions”
Instead of asking questions that keep you stuck and do not provide solutions, ask yourself the ultimate “Deliberate Question”: How can I move forward?
If you do just this one thing, you can change the entire trajectory of your life! I first learned the power of asking the right questions from Tony Robbins teachings and the book “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life”
Examples of a “Deliberate Question”
Here are some specific examples from my personal experience with using the deliberate question.
Feeling stuck when it came to motivating myself for physical exercise.
My natural tendency was to ask “Get Stuck Questions” such as “Why can I not exercise consistently?”, “Why don’t I have any motivation?”, but the answers were getting me nowhere.
My deliberate questions:
“How can I exercise consistently?” and “How can I get motivated?”
Answers from asking a deliberate question:
- I can exercise consistently if I have more variety. So, as a result I varied my exercise regime from walking to exercise dvds. That tactic failed, it did not create consistency.
- I increased my motivation, by changing my story and writing down the reasons why I wanted to exercise. Afterthought: That worked partly, but it was not the full answer.
- I created intrinsic motivation, by adding music to my exercise regime. That helped, but still it was not the complete solution.
- I shared my deliberate questions with other people. They gave me ideas to try, and I came up with my own solutions, like going to sleep early and creating a schedule for my exercise regime, and that worked like a charm!
Note: I asked my “Deliberate Questions” and did not enjoy success immediately, there was a LAG TIME. However the questions remained the same, until I discovered my answers and solutions.
It is okay for you to be patient and trust the process of “Deliberate Questioning”.
Feeling stuck in a career.
“Get Stuck Question”: Why am I not successful? and What is wrong? Now, the answers to these questions did not help me move forward.
- “How can I succeed more?”
Answers from asking deliberate question:
- I can succeed more by expressing my passion and daily commitment to finding ways to contribute.
All the above positive answers helped move forward to a much brighter future.
Creating a “Deliberate Question”
“Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected.” Sophocles
When you ask any kind of question, your mind will react like a missile on a mission to finding the target and it won’t give up until it does.
A question has the power to determine your entire mental focus and this focus will determine your feelings, your actions and your results.
You know you are asking “Get Stuck Questions”, if there is no progress in an area of your life, and it causes you feelings of suffering and stuckness. There is a caveat here, asking “Get Stuck Questions” may not be totally unnecessary. You may need to ask why things are wrong, as this can be a source of reflection and learning from the past.
The big problem comes, when a “Get Stuck Question” lingers for too long and it creates the inevitable suffering. Do not keep a “Get Stuck Question” past its expiry date, extract the learning and move on, by creating a better present and future for yourself with the use of a “Deliberate Question”.
Formulating a great “Deliberate Question” requires the following conditions:
- You make a conscious decision to go ahead with this new way of thinking. Make a decision to formulate at least one “Deliberate Question” in the area of life you would like to see improvement.
- Identify what questions hold you back. Write down the "Get Stuck Question"
- The question should be positive, focusing your mind on what you want.
- The question should be forward thinking with the potential of creating choice and real solutions. The question should be action focused, directing you into thinking of all possible actions you can take i.e. ask "How can I?".
- Write down this “Deliberate Question”, and then you can trust your mind to lead you to the right answers. In time this way of thinking may become automatic, even though I strongly believe in the power of writing down anything that is significant enough. You do not want something as significant as this to get lost amongst your mind’s other meaningless trivia.
- Trust your subconscious to lead you to your desired outcome.
Mastering this technique is a keystone habit that can entirely change how you perceive a challenge. It will set you on a brand new path in an instant.
Use the Deliberate Question below to begin resetting your LNS (Life Navigation System)
- Get a notebook or a journal
- Identify your “Get Stuck” Question or area of concern.
- Write down a “Deliberate Question” by starting with the words "How can I...?"
- Reflect on how much better you feel, as a result of applying the "Deliberate Question" technique.
I would love to know your own Deliberate Question and any thoughts you may have about this post, please comment below.
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